The Princess Diaries 9: A Royal Disaster
by BLAiRx0o
Summary: Extra, Extra, read all about! Princess Mia's life is going down hill. She's eating meat again, she found a note from Michael, Grandmere's forcing her to enter some sort of surprise, JP has a new GF! and Tina has a secret. CHAPTER 2 IS UP! AND IT WORKS!
1. Whoops, What I did to JP

**Princess Diaries 9: Princess Mia**  
[Blair's Way  
Saturday, September 11th, 7 am.

I don't know what exactly made me do it. I ditched JP. I didn't mean to, it's just, ARGHH. I am SO screwed, seriously. I can't think of anyone else more screwed than me. Okay, maybe people dying of hunger and everything, and Michael Jackson, even though I shouldn't say that. Us princesses can not mention Mr. Jackson on account of him being "undesirable" - (Grandmere) in formal speaking. I wonder what they will actually do if I mention him at some sort of ball held by the Genovians. They'll probably die. And to think what will happen if the royals boogie down to some of his music. Oh my, can you even imagine the royals dancing to HIS music? Oh, no…my eyes are stinging again, I can't think of music, music makes me think of guess who? Michael. Geez. I wish he hadn't moved. I wish I could've stopped him.

**WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ****MY SHOOTING STAR?**  
If only. I wish wishes would come true. Oh, no, wait. That would mean that we would like have dictators because you know, evil people wish. Right? Okay, I wouldn't know. Okay, yeah, I would know, because evil is like bad, and I'm a really, really bad person. I'm not a burglar or anything, thank god. Genovia would never forgive me. But Genovia would be nothing compared to Grandmere.

**TOP 3 (at the moment) REASONS I AM A BAD **

**PERSON:**

1. I broke up with my boyfriend on account of him sleeping with another girl before we started dating and him not telling me. Everyone is saying it's not a big deal. It sort of is, though, but then, it isn't. It's times like these I ask myself what the hell did I do?

2. I kissed my best friend's ex-boyfriend soon after they broke up. I mean who does that? Evil people, that's who, or at least bad ones. And to top it all off. Who was there? MICHAEL. I had my chance to get him back, hopefully that was what he was there though, oh my god, what if he just went there to tell me off? No way, Michael wouldn't do that. I could be wrong though, I never thought Michael would sleep with another girl and not tell me. Judith, to top it all of. The Fruit Fly clone.

3. I started eating meat again. I mean, I haven't ate meat since I was Six! Six, I tell you. I've been off it for nearly a decade! I'm eating slaughtered animals! Why would I, Mia Thermopolis, eat meat? Okay, yeah, after I broke up with the love of my life! The boy I've been waiting for three years or more! What is wrong with me, honestly? I'm supposed to be a vegetarian, for Christ's sake. For little pigs and cows sakes, too. Basically, I just suck, I really, really suck and the worst part is, I can't even keep it down, I'm at the toilet seven hours a day, thinking I am going to puke. And I do. So why am I even bothering to put it down my throat? I can't even explain what I'm doing, oh my god.  
What if they send me to some sort of MENTAL hospital?  
Lord knows the guys from Grey's Anatomy aren't going to be there. Tina told me something about this. She said they were "dreamy", but you know Tina, with her romance novels! I can't even think about romance right now. I'm crying again, oh great. Text! Oh, no, it's from JP, he probably hates me now, really, really hates me.

JP: Mia, what happened to you last night? Are you OK? TXT back.  
Me: JP, um, yeah, I'm OK. I'm really sorry about last night.

Truth is, after Beauty and the Beast, we went to his place. Well, his parent's place, but what does it matter? We went into his room and just talked about stuff.  
And before you knew it, we were making out, well not necessarily, but kissing the tiniest bit. Over exaggerating much, Mia? Thoughts were running through my head: What in the world am I thinking? How could I let this happen? I can't cheat on Michael. Even though he probably thinks we're over now. So, I did the only thing I could do, I pushed him aside. "Um," I began, "JP. This is a little too fast, I mean, JP, I like you. But we're friends. I love Michael. Really." I got up. I'm not that easy, am I? "I'll, um, go check my c-c-ell." I began, stammering, "My M-m-mom's probably worried or something." Hopefully, Fat Louie ate another sock or something, so I could get out of that place. I walked out of the room calmly , grabbed my purse and jacket, and ran out of the apartment before anyone noticed. Before I knew it, I was home, and it was midnight. My mom was pacing and Mr. Gianini was trying to calm her down.

Me: Hey, mom.  
I assumed she would be cool about this, I really was sorry. But she wasn't, not at all. Mr. Gianini

wasn't either.  
Mom: Mia, where in the world were you? What happened?  
She sounded angry, really, really angry. What did she think? I got drunk and started stripping? No, I didn't. But I almost slept with my [ex? best friend's boyfriend. I stink. So, I started sobbing. Really, really, sobbing. No construction site could have been louder than me. I ran into the bathroom and threw up. When all the throwing up was settled, I went into my room. "Mia?" my mom asked, "Can I come in?" "N-n-no." I sobbed. Does she have no respect for my wishes? She just walked in. Walked right in. I could've been doing something personal in there, things I shouldn't even list, let alone think about. She sat down on the bed, right beside me. "Mia, sweetie, what happened?" I wouldn't have let the sweetie thing pass if I wasn't completely delirious at the time. So I told her. And I got an idea. It wasn't a genius idea, but it was an idea.


	2. Say what? and Lookie!

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**Author's Note: **

**I own nothing. Sorry for the chapter mess up. It should work now. Please review, I'll update the store every 10-15 reviews from now on. Thanks, and keep reading. **

* * *

Later, Saturday, September 11th, the loft.

Okay, but anyway, the first thing I HAD to do, was check my email. Maybe Michael would reply back, although he probably hates me and wants nothing to do with me, like almost ALL of the Moscovitzs, I might as well, right? Maybe Tina or someone was on. So, I got out of bed and logged on.

MIA?

Was the first Instant Message that I got. I didn't recognize the screen name, but I might as well.

FTLouie: Ummm…yes?

FTLouie: Who is this, anyway?

JenuinePaul4: Guess.

FTLouie: I don't know….

Then it clicked. Well, the computer didn't, but my brain did, I mean, not literally, but you know. Obviously, it was JP. But JenuinePaul4? Doesn't exactly sound like JP, he could've at least put CornChilliHater or something. But whatever. I hope he's still not mad at me, but technically, it was at least partly his fault, too.

FTLouie: Oh my gosh, JP! You got Instant Messenger?

Which I really didn't want him to have, I mean, I like JP, not that way, but I don't want him to have it NOW. I mean, I ditched him, which isn't exactly the nicest thing to do, as Grandmere has noted before, especially before the royals. I wonder if that still applies when you're being abducted by evil aliens and are trying to escape, but it still refers to ditching them, I guess. I should ask Grandmere Monday. No, she would probably be all like "Pfuit!" and ask for another sidecar.

JenuinePaul4: Um, yeah…listen, about last night…

Ugh, how did I know he was going to start talking about that? Aren't there more important issues to talk about? I mean, poverty, world issues, heck even Britney Spears! Who shaved her head, and sort of went loony, but I mean, anything would be better!

FTLouie: Yeah?

JenuinePaul4: Why did you run out on me like that?

Oh, crap, now I have to state a reason. What am I going to say? Because I don't love you JP? Because I love Michael, a lot, and don't want to have anything to do with you at the time because of all of it, even though I feel really, really, bad about it. But I have been lying lately, so I should just tell the truth, I guess. Oh my god, what am I even thinking? That's so mean of me, that's meaner than something Grandmere would do. Or well, say. Well, she would. But probably not to anyone's face. I don't think. Apparently, thinking took me quite a while, because the next IM I got was:

JenuinePaul4: Mia? You there?

Which only made me reply, I mean, I had to, that's even ruder. Jeez, this Princess thing is going to my head. Thanks, a bunch, Grandmere. Or well, Mom and Dad, but I guess I'm over that now, it's been long enough, right? Exactly. I guess.

FTLouie: Yes, sorry.

JenuinePaul4: Well, are you going to answer me?

Talk about being pushy and impatient JP?! Was what I wanted to scream in his face. Or well, type, but you know, jeez, can he give me a break?

FTLouie: Yes, JP.

JenuinePaul4: Well?

Okay, I had to do it. What was I going to do? Lie? Like I did to Kenny? And you saw what happened then, didn't you, journal? Yeah, so I couldn't do the same thing could I? I mean, I want to be his friend, but nothing else.

FTLouie: Because, JP. I don't love you.

Oh, jeez. That was sort of harsh. Why, oh WHY, did I press Enter? Oh my god, what if JP tells his Dad or someone and they tell Grandmere? Grandmere would be so pissed. Well, she wouldn't like it that I said that but yeah, she would have been "I'm WHAT? Is that the equivalent of a toilet?" Or something like that. And I felt really bad because all JP said was:

JenuinePaul4: Oh.

FTLouie: I'm sorry, JP, I didn't mean it that way.

JenuinePaul4: That's okay, Mia. I know exactly what you meant, and I'm sorry you feel that way.

TERMINATED.

Great, this is great, just great. First, BOTH of the Moscovitz hate me, and now JP. That's just dandy. My life is just like Beaver's. Perfect. Not. So, I decided to put my away message (ugh, another person hates me. Email-check.) While I went to go check my email, but before I could, Tina Instant Messaged me.

Iluvromance: Hey, Mia.

Auto Response from FTLouie: Ugh, another person hates me. Email-Check.

FTLouie: Hey, Tina. What's up?

I had to talk to Tina, I mean, Michael could wait. He's probably in Japan, anyway, busy.

Iluvromance: Awww, what happened, Mia? Who hates you?

FTLouie: Long story, Tina. I'll tell you at school.

Iluvromance: Oh, okay, Mia. I have a bit of a problem, too. But I guess I'll tell you at school, too.

Just know that not everyone hates you. (:

Awww, Tina is SO nice. I mean, she almost NEVER flips out on me, like Lilly. She's a great friend. Yet, I wonder what she wants to tell me, hmm….I guess I'll find out Monday. But 'till then….

FTLouie: Thanks, Tina.

TERMINATED.

But anyways, I should go. To do Mission Mia and Michael. Or just try, basically.

Noon, Saturday, September 11th, The Ritz Penthouse Table.

And that's how I ended up at the Ritz. I had forgotten to give the Hotel my keycard to the Suite. I just had to see the room again. To see if it really had happened. Of course it had. But a part of me is living in doubt about the entire situation. Why me? This is worse than 3 days straight with Grandmere. I think. I don't think I've been with Grandmere three days straight. As in, full 24 hours. Oh my, 72 hours with Grandmere? Yuck. EW. But I'd rather spend 72 hours with Grandmere, than without Michael. Honestly.

Plus, it's not like Grandmere would mind if they charged her an extra day. Hopefully. I mean, she gave it to me as a SEX ROOM. Right? Geez. What kind of grandmother does that for her granddaughter? I mean, I've never heard of that before. And I thought Grandmere was delusional BEFORE that, but this completely proves my point. I'm quite sure. Positive, actually. I quickly opened the door, carefully, too. I mean, what if someone was actually in there? Doing something Grandmere wanted me to do? EW. I got into the room and closed the door quietly. I looked around, but there was no sign of anyone there, so I decided to walk over to the bed. THE BED. Where it was supposed to happen with Michael. I sat down on the bed, and shed a couple of tears.

Strangely, my butt was feeling a little uncomfortable. Yeah, I know, Mia, go complain about your butt in a five star hotel. Nice. But really, it was hard, and it was a weird shape. I mean what could it be? What if…it's a squirrel? Actually, I heard about a girl who tripped over a squirrel. 3 times. How exactly do you do that? Wouldn't you notice the squirrel? Well, I'd rather people tripping over the squirrel than it being eaten or hit by a car, but that's strange, you never hear about stuff like that. Haha, what if you were abducted by squirrels? Imagine Grandmere being abducted by squirrels. I had to know what was under my butt. As strange as that sounds, so I got up and looked at the bed, and examined it carefully. There was a white card on top with something in it. Hmm, I wondered. I carefully took the card in my hand. For Mia, it read.

Umm…who would have known that I was staying there? Almost no one. I opened it. A snowflake necklace fell out. It couldn't be. It was probably one of the staff who knew I was staying there and say that I left my, err...Michael's necklace. I let the necklace drop to the floor and started to read the letter.

It had started with Dear Mia, and ended with - Michael…..

OH MY GOD! MICHAEL!


End file.
